My left eye has been twitching for like 6 months now – literally. I thought if I moved my monitors from the bright side of my desk to the dark side of my desk it would go away. I think the eye twitch is starting to affect my brain cause it didn’t work, at all. I know I should try not to think about it and it will probably just go away but I feel like an Iguana or something; like my left eye is watching a fly on my shoulder and my right eye is looking where it’s supposed to. If this keeps up I’m changing my name to Lisa Left Eye (rest in peace) just to appease my twitch. That should do it, right?
This is what I call a Sausage Fest! No, not a predominantly male gathering, but a smörgåsbord of tasty sausages for Beckett’s 1st birthday party. From brats, to cheddarwursts, to chorizos and the good ol’ hotdog; they were all there (and that’s just half of them). After they were grilled I thew them in that sausage jacuzzi of hot beer and onions and served ’em up.
I had to take a “Minamalism” class at work this week. As I sat there thinking about how I would like to minimize my time in that class, I saw my name on the table and started thinking about minimizing that instead. If you took out 3 extraneous letters in my last name (the C, one E, and the U) it would obviously be way simpler for everyone involved. I think the time savings would really add up. Every time I call a bank, or a doctor, or any other service related person, approximately the following conversation takes place:
Them: Can I please have your last name?
Me: Yes, it’s Scheuerman, let me spell it for you, S-C-H-E-U-E-R-M-A-N
(If I make it through spelling it out with out them interrupting, it goes on)
Them: Long pause…I’m not finding that in the system, are you sure you’re registered?
Me: Yes, are you sure you spelled my name right?
Them: Yes, I have S-C-H-U-R-M-A-N
So that usually goes on back and forth for awhile, and ok, I get it, it’s a tricky name. But what gets me is that they never think it is possible they mis-spelled my name, no, in their mind it seems that it is way more likely that I spelled it wrong the first time I gave it to them. And when they tell me it isn’t in the system, I’m going to suddenly tell them, “Oh yes, silly me, I’m calling you about my credit card but I forgot how my last name is spelled because I’m five years old.”
Anyway, I don’t really want to change my name – to channel Michael Bolton in Office Space – they’re the ones who suck, why should I have to change it.
So, in the spirit of my ironically long minimalism class, I’ll end this post.
(At McDonalds Drive-thru speaker)
McD: Can I take your order?
Me: Just a second.
McD: Will that be all?
Me: Ummmm I just need a minute
Hey sports fans. Not bad under the roof tonight. Beckett was good. He got a new hat…or we got him a new hat. We left early to get Beckett to bed but were home in time to see Weeks aka Predator (the dreads) put us ahead with a frozen rope into the bullpen and then Axford close it out. Finally got one against the Reds!
No, not that kind of sausage Favre fans. This is just a picture of a tasty kielbasa – the first in what will hopefully be a weekly sausage feature on this site. Stay tuned, stay hungry.
I made a diorama with miniature Tara pushing miniature Beckett on a miniature swing. Or I used the swell tilt-shift feature in the Instagram app. Either way.
From “How Stuff Works”, “Because of its reliance on this capacitive material, the iPhone works only if you touch it with your fingertip — it won’t work if you use a stylus or wear non-conductive gloves.”
Well, it isn’t working with my thumb tonight which means there’s either something wrong with my phone or something wrong with my thumb. I’m pretty sure it’s my thumb.
You’re working. This is my first post.