The little known follow up to the Children of the Corn franchise is much more uplifting – and a little gay.
Not to be confused with the stalwart Wisconsin tourist destination Cave of the Mounds, this post refers to the another area where the sun don’t shine – two of them actually – one we visited on vacation and the other one is mine.
Whilst in Hawaii we rented some flashlights for the privelage of exploring a lava tube – which was pretty cool. Halfway in we came across the pictured sign describing the “Blind Cave Insects” that inhabit the cave. And if blind insects don’t terrify you enough, the description of them sure as heck should. I didn’t get the picture of the sign describing the 20″ worms that hang from the cave ceiling and hunt other worms. At that point my imagination (and skin) was crawling.
What does this have to do with a much more personal (but equally dark and humid) ecosystem? Well let’s just say I noticed a bite later that day and it just could have been from one of those freaky albino bugs. Other options include the army of fire ants we saw on a hike or maybe some unidentified sea creature that didn’t like my snorkel.
This also happens to be from the best season finale of all time (Lost season 3).
Recently on vacation, we had bought some souvenirs from a flea market type place. Generally these vendors don’t have their own shopping bags and just pull out a crumpled one to reuse for your souvenir purchase – no problem, I’m cool with that. Except not so much when it ends up back home in our bag holder, I grab it for my lunch, and walk through the parking lot and all over the office with it before realizing it has “kid bikini” scrawled on the side.
Coworker: “You don’t have any girls, do you?”
Me: “No, why?”
Coworker: points to bag with funny look
Me: “Yeah, that’s kinda creepy.”
“We’re sorry folks, you’re flight is going to be delayed…we don’t have a flight attendant…we don’t know what happened to her…thank you for your patience.”
I’ve been on 7 flights this week Delta, I can do it. Give me a skirt or one of those mock turtle necks and I’ll click seatbelts and sling ginger ales just as well as any pro would. I’d just like to go home now.