Fitness Made Stupid


So I’m trying to lose that pesky baby weight I put on when Tara was pregnant with Beckett. And if you know me, you might know I’m a bit of a sucker for “as seen on tv” products and other such easy way outs. Now I’m not saying the Ab-Lounge in my basement won’t give me a new place to do my laundry (washboard abs for those of you not keeping up) – it totally could. But, it also might be much better suited to what I like to think of as stretching my back – although most people would describe it as reclining. So I’m not going to rely on the quick fixes this time around, even if I desperately want the Total Gym if for no other reason than that Chuck Norris is awesome. Instead, I downloaded an App for my iPhone called “iMapMyFitness” so I could go on walks at lunch and track my distance, time, and speed. I tried it out today with a brisk walk to Target. I was feeling good when I got there but whilst power walking past the women’s intimates I could feel the snack aisle beckoning (and no that’s not a metaphor). I proudly skipped over the good tasting snacks and grabbed some Market Pantry 100 Calorie Pack Chocolate Chip Cardboards – err cookies. To drink, I found a reduced calorie Citrus Lemongrass Naked Juice. I was at the front checkouts now on pace for a 33 minute mile – the pounds were literally dropping off. Feeling ashamed of my womanly purchases I asked for a bag and was on my way. I made it back to work averaging 4 mph (much of that due to my 100yd dash across 6 lanes of traffic to avoid the extra half block walk to the stoplights) and after a whopping .96 miles I was back at my desk. I ate my 100 calorie pack (bleh) and chugged my juice (200 calories). I picked up my phone to see that the fitness app was showing I burned 72 calories – leaving me 228 in the hole. Awesome. Screw it, somebody bring me a cheeseburger.