No, this has nothing to do with the 1983 Michael Keaton classic. Instead of Batman, it was me playing Mr. Mom this time. Tara was at a conference in Salt Lake City for the better part of a week so Beckett and I were holding down the fort and learning a thing or two in the process. Here’s some of the pearls of wisdom I gleaned from our time alone:
1. FaceTime = nightmares = no sleep. The first night away, Tara called in on her iPhone to FaceTime with Beckett and he liked it. But that night he woke up every other hour crying inconsolably and I can only imagine its because he thought his mom was trapped in dad’s phone a la some modern day version of Poltergeist.
2. Having Mickey’s Christmas Carol still saved on the TIVO is like having baby tranquilizers in the medicine cabinet. A 3:00am showing was the only thing that got Beckett calm enough to go back to sleep that first night.
3. Kids and bosses have (horribly) impeccable timing. I had to work from home on Friday to be able to watch Beckett and not burn a vacation day. I figured I could get everything I needed done between cartoons, nap time, and bed time. Well, the 8:00 am conference call was interrupted by Beckett’s 8:01 wake up time. The first phone call from the boss came midst poop wiping (Beckett’s not mine). The second phone call from the boss came as I was lifting slippery Beckett from his bath. And on and on. The two of them must have collaborated and said,”hey, let’s pick about 5 total minutes out of the whole day and mess with Adam to make him look bad.”
4. Sharing your fruit smoothy with a baby to quiet them down is kind of like robbing Peter to pay Paul – the ensuing blow-out was not worth the quiet time.
5. Nap time is contagious.
6. Bacon is the way God intended breakfast to be. Frying the rest of my breakfast sandwich in the bacon pan – even better. (Basically this one is here because I only felt comfortable cooking like this away from the judging eyes of other adults). I may have also tried frying cookie dough in a frying pan…maybe.
7. Kid’s cartoons are strangely addicting – I needed to find out if Dora, Boots, and Little Red Rooster were going to be able to wake up the sun – because, said the Rooster, “My cock-a-doodle can’t wake anything up.” I don’t care if Beckett lost interest 10 minutes ago – I’m watching the rest. I later watched Pooh and the gang race their “Pooh sticks” down the creek. Seriously. Who writes this stuff?
8. Blogging is a great way to procrastinate writing a paper for school.
9. I could be a stay at home Dad but I wouldn’t get anything done – we’re ready for Tara and her multitasking skills to come home.
10. I don’t know, nobody said this was a top ten list.