2017 Wisconsin State Fair Trip 4

Sad but true fact – this was our final trip to the fair this year. An out of state wedding is pulling us away from dairyland during the last few days. I know what you’re thinking…who has the audacity to get married during the Wisconsin State Fair?!? Yeah, same thing I was thinking. I offered to stay home – with the kids – let Tara have a weekend to herself, at a wedding, alone. That’s just the kind of guy I am. But alas, we didn’t see eye-to-eye on that gracious offer and away we go with nothing  but dreams and indigestion to remind me that there is still fair fun to be had.

Anyway, we made our last trip without the kids and the taste of freedom was almost as sweet as the beermosas we had over at The Micro. My Door County Brewing Co. Apricot Dude Ranch beermosa paired up nicely with our first two foods of the day. The new All American Breakfast Sandwich and the old favorite Donut Breakfast Sandwich. When you can’t decide between two foods, get them both. That’s what I say at least.


The All American had two crispy hash brown patties sandwiching your standard breakfast sandwich fare of egg, bacon, and cheese. This was good. I could eat it regularly. I think I’m still partial to the Donut version as that glazed donut adds just the right amount of sweetness to balance those salty breakfast foods. Either way, you won’t go wrong with one (or both) of these.

We managed to catch most of the Sporkies Judging live and in person during this visit and I have to say – I think I should’ve been up there. Just because I love all of the foods. Like children, or lost puppies. I’m like the Statue of Liberty for food. Give me your fried, your bacon, your battered, your muddled messes yearning to be eaten…

Anyway, back to reality. I snuck over to Brew City to grab the Three Little Pigs dish and brought it back to eat and dream of my glory days as a Sporkies judge.


These bacon wrapped raviolis were delicious. Great blend of pork and cheese and flavor on the inside with crispy bacon on the outside and a great tasting BBQ-y/Ranch-y sauce on the side. These could have won (or at least came close) in my humble opinion.


Light crowds and no kids took us back to Tropics at the Fair to get a couple 20 oz Miller High Life’s to wash down another round of Deep Fried Grilled Cheese Bites. They were even better the 2nd time around and are probably my favorite of this year’s fair. Here’s a close-up to further whet your appetite.

Wanting to make the most of our last time here I ordered a Fat Elvis Shake Shake next.


You have to try it yourself to decide, but I thought it had all the elements of a great dessert (and that includes the bacon pieces throughout.) The deep fried fat elvis (basically a battered and fried peanut butter cup) was an especially nice touch.

Tara grabbed a classic cheese on a stick next to balance out the sweetness we just took in. Always a solid choice.


I opted for the Bourbon Bacon Cheeseburger sliders (as they are 1/3 of the Sporkies nominated Triple Threat). I should have known not to trust anything from the Budweiser Pavilion though.


They were fine as far as sliders go but there was nothing really special here aside from the pretzel bun. They didn’t (or forgot to) put the slaw on them – which rubbed be the wrong way. I went back up and was told “we aren’t doing that any more, but you can have a side of it if you want.” Weird. Anyway, I got my side, stuck some slaw on top and finished them off.

Couple more kid free beers to wash it all down and that was all she wrote for food at the 2017 State Fair.

I’ll have one more wrap-up post and I’m hoping to get another guest blog from my fairer half as well. Until then…






2017 Wisconsin State Fair Trips 2 and 3

We attended 3 out of the first 5 days of the fair. A 60% occupancy rate for you stat fans. Not too shabby. I attended work 3 out of the last 5 days as well – but much more begrudgingly. So, what did visits 2 and 3 bring? Read on to find out.
First off though, the weather Friday evening – upper 60’s and beautiful. I’ve never not sweated at the fair and while I didn’t break that streak (eating and drinking is hard work!) I was more comfortable than I’ve ever been. I probably didn’t take enough advantage of the weather – I could have eaten much more and but we were lucky enough to have some out-of-state friends with us and I usually like to leave the piggish behavior to the animals in the swine barn when we’re in good company.
The first food of the night wasn’t my own but my fair foodie in training, my 7 y/o Beckett’s Unicorn Twinkie.
Judging by the sheer velocity and ferocity he ate this with – in addition to licking the stick clean – we’re going to have to judge this one a rousing success. I didn’t get a taste but it looked pretty good – perfectly golden browned with nice frosting drizzle and glitter garnish.
Desperately wanting to join in the eating I set out on a mission to find the cheese curd and brat tacos. These are towards the back over by the dog pier jumping stage – at a little trailer called Poncho Dog. Find it. I asked Tara if she wanted any before I ordered – she said she’d “try a bite” so I thought one would be enough but when I got up to the window the friendly purveyor said it was only $3 more for a 2nd – I gladly obliged.
2 Tacos in hand I was ready to dive in. These were amazing. I know you’ve heard me say that about food in the past but if you only try one new food at the fair this year – consider making this it. More like a “Chalupa” then a Taco, it was crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside with just enough lettuce and chipotle sauce to balance it all out. I probably would have liked a few more brat slices thrown in there but it’s hard to complain about something that tasted this good.
Unfortunately, there are bugs at the fair this year. Edible bugs. People are drawn to this. I don’t blame them, I don’t judge them, I just don’t understand them. That being said, I hesitantly followed our party over to the “Exotic Meats” stand towards the south end of Grandstand Avenue to check them out. Seeming like a pointless endeavor to eat a cricket on a chip or as part of nachos – the bug eating veteran we were with ordered straight up bags of crickets and worms/larvae. I stood back at a safe distance – as did Becket – while we watched in horror as crickets were crunched and chomped.
Semi-eager to understand how anyone could do this, I gave in and decided I’d at least try a worm. I don’t know why but it seemed better. It was cheddar flavored I guess.
Was it better with cheddar? Hardly. It was maybe much ado about nothing as one tiny worm barely registered in my mouth, but it made its impact in my mind and I quickly threw back my remaining dried cranberries (bought for 50 cents in the WI Product Pavilion) to erase the reminder of worm in my mouth.
Deep fried cheese curds, donut grilled cheese, Leinenkugel’s State Fair Ale and Drunk Tots wrapped up the night making me feel much better about myself and my choices in life.
Trip 3 brought us more great weather (albeit a bit warmer) and a chance to redeem myself a bit more and pack in the foods.
A sleeping 2 year old in a stroller took us to the north end of Grandstand Ave and right into Sprecher Landing – a great hidden gem of an area to sit down and enjoy something Sprecher-y. I got a root beer float doughnut and Beckett got a plain ol’ root beer float. Both were as good as you could expect.
The beer battered bacon wrapped cheddar sausage on a stick caught Tara’s eye as something I’d likely be interested in (she knows me) and she pointed it out. Like a moth to a bright light I flew right over there without speaking a word.
They did all the right things when creating this one. Beer batter, bacon wrap, on-a-stick, and cheddar inside. So it was impossible that it would be bad. And it wasn’t. But, it was a lot to handle, and I needed a souvenir size cup of Coke from the root beer barrel to wash it down – making me feel slightly guilty about what I was doing to my body. Not to worry, the feeling was flighting and more foods were had.
  Another Sporkie Finalist and one on my list of must-tries were the Spaghetti and Meatball Mozzarella sticks. I was hesitant to fork over $9 for these but they were big enough to share (which I did for once) and they were actually really great. The meatballs were outstanding and the spaghetti, mozzarella, parmesan mix up was spot on. The red sauce was on the side letting us each have it just to taste. I recommend this one.
Off to Brad and Harry’s for some more deep-fried cheese curds (3rd time for those keeping score at home). But don’t worry about me. The whole family enjoys this tradition now. We struggled to find any unique shapes so here’s a picture of one that looks loosely like New Jersey.
With just enough time and appetite left for dessert I opted for the Cherry Pie Wonton.
It was just like it sounds – sweet cherry pie filling (the from-a-can type) inside a nice crispy flaky wonton skin. Chocolate drizzle, powdered sugar, and whip cream on top helped spruce it up. It was overall nothing too special but still nothing to shake a stick at either ( ‘specially since it wasn’t on one). I’d probably skip it and get something more interesting like Monkey Business if you’re in the market for something sweet.
And that’s it so far. The fair isn’t over yet though and I’m not done with it either. Check back again soon.

Fair Night Tonight

Going to the Fair after work today. Here’s how it looks through my eyes:


Stay tuned for some fresh new food reviews soon!

2017 Wisconsin State Fair – Day 1 Part 2 (The Food)

A little threat of severe weather can’t get between me and my fair food – we still managed to get a hearty serving of the fair and its food. The first day is always a little overwhelming – the sights, the sounds, and a list full of new foods with nothing crossed off.

A hard left out of the tunnel entrance lead us  organically down to the Spam wagon and to what may have been inorganic Spam Fries.

But guess what? I don’t care what they were made of (as long as it’s not crickets.) Factory ham beats crickets every day and twice on Sunday. But anyway, these Spam Fries; salty, crispy on the outside, hammy spammy on the inside . Great! I liked them with ranch, because they didn’t seem unhealthy enough on their own.

Adjacent to the Spam is the highlight of the Fair year in and year out, the Milwaukee Bucks Milk House. Two new flavors this year; chocolate peanut butter and salted caramel. Both were really good with the edge going to the chocolate peanut butter – like a melted Reeses in your mouth. The only major issue is that the boys can each drink at least a milk-a-piece so even with my trademark 4 milk carry – I’m not left with enough milk to satisfy my craving. It’s ok, it’s worth it to raise a couple milk drinkers.

Brad & Harry’s Cheese Curds are next and since we have them every year (and almost every trip) the new game is, “find a cheese curd that looks like something.” This batch had this:


Back to the new foods list and over to Water Street Brewery for Yardbird Nachos.

These were pretty good. Rich and really filling to eat alone (which I did). Turns out “chicken cracklings” are basically deep-fried chicken skin (maybe they were battered a little too) so they’re basically the best part of your bucket of fried chicken. The toppings were great too with some nice fresh salsa. Give these a try.

Time to feed the kids some more and what better than a 12″ corn dog (which I ate half of because that’s what dads do – or that’s what I do – either way).

Tropics at the Fair was the next target to cross our path and I moseyed up the bar and ordered some deep-fried grilled cheese sandwich bites. I talked to the owner as well and got you all some insider information – the cheese is battered in bread batter – something they came up with. When you cook it, it turns into bread around the cheese – deep-fried grilled cheese bread.

These were even better than I hoped they would be. Even the tomato dipping sauce was great – inspired by homemade tomato soup (more insider info). These are highly recommended – by me and my family.

Last stop for the day was appropriately Saz’s for dessert. Monkey Business.

Two little dessert burritos were excellently prepared. The burritos may have even been banana flavored – I think – I couldn’t exactly tell. Either way, they were crispy and full of everything good. Peanut buttery, bacon jam, caramelized banana. These were great. Soooo rich though. Please don’t be me – don’t eat them both yourself. I ended up couched for a good 2 hours after we got home from overdoing it today. Tara never wants to share these weirder things with me. Don’t get me wrong – she encourages me to get them…and life insurance. Weird.

Be back soon.


2017 Wisconsin State Fair – Day 1 Part 1

We went, we pushed it to the limit, and it poured just as we were ready to walk out. Lessons? It is really hard to run on a stomach full of fair food and you don’t really need “just one more thing” when you’ve already had 5. Reviews coming later tonight after my food coma / nap. 

2017 Wisconsin State Fair – New Food Preview

Image result for wisconsin state fair

A year of waiting and it’s finally that time again; the Wisconsin State Fair is back later this week. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since last August and I’ve done my best to keep myself in tip-top fair feasting shape. From Naked Chicken Chalupas to Mac & Cheetos – I eat the best and worst of what’s out there just to be prepared for these 10 days in August each year. And my colon is already quivering after reading this year’s new food list.

I know it can be difficult to plan your food choices at the fair; the dollars and calories add up. So, in hopes of helping, I’ve commented on all 67 new foods. The best, the worst, and the rest. Enjoy!

(My comments are in italics.)

 The Best (no particular order)

  1. All American Grilled Breakfast Sandwich – We are taking the all American Breakfast Sandwich (with bacon, egg and cheese) and sandwiching it in between two grilled hash brown patties. At Siggy’s Gourmet Grilled Cheese.
    1.  Doesn’t sound as good as the grilled donut breakfast sandwich (of 2015) was, but in the spirit of KFC’s infamous (and sorely missed) “Double Down” I’m all for replacing buns with other options.
  2. Yard Bird Nachos – A complete southern fried chicken dinner in nacho form! Totally “chipless” nachos using deep-fried chicken cracklings as its base! Smothered with Wisconsin cheddar & jack, mashed potatoes, Water Street Brewery amber beer-marinated and house-smoked pulled chicken with special spice rub. Topped with homemade corn salsa, house-pickled jalapenos and sweet peppers. At Water Street Brewery.
    • Substituting those empty tortilla chip calories with some good old wholesome fried chicken cracklings (???) is a great start. Topping it Smothering it with mashed potatoes & co is a great finish.
  3. Deep-Fried Grilled Cheese Sandwich Bites – Tender morsels of grilled cheese bites deep fried to perfection and served with a creamy tomato dipping sauce. At Tropics at the Fair.
    • Sucks you right in by dropping a hot “tender morsels” on you right off the bat. Hard to not want these in your mouth. Sometimes simpler is better and I believe that’ll be the case here.
  4. Housemade Cheddar Tots – 4 housemade Wisconsin Cheddar Potato Tots, drizzled with Saz’s Original BBQ Sauce, topped with all natural Duroc BBQ pulled pork and chives.
    • So I was actually a big fan of the “cheesy tots” that they served at Burger King briefly (big surprise I tried those, right?) so when I saw Saz’s was taking a stab at them and that there was pulled pork on top – I was in. Take my money yesterday Saz’s.
  5. Monkey Business – You’ll go bananas for our caramelized banana burrito! Stuffed with house-made bacon jam and creamy peanut butter, then deep fried, drizzled with Wisconsin honey, and finished with a sprinkle of chipotle cinnamon sugar – this funky monkey means business! At Saz’s BBQ.
    • Our first dessert entry on the list. Extra points for wrapping this up burrito style to allow for clean eating (although I wish it was fried à la Chimichangas). Still 10:1 odds that this ends up down the front of my shirt and/or pants. Hot bananas!
  6. Spaghetti & Meatballs Mozzarella Sticks – Albanese’s famous spaghetti & meatballs wrapped in a wonton with mozzarella and fried to golden goodness. Served with Albanese’s famous red sauce. Finalist in the 2017 Sporkies. At Albanese’s Roadhouse.
    • I’m a big fan of making homemade mozzarella sticks with egg roll skins and string cheese. This seems pretty close to that but if they pull of the cheese-noodle-meatball ratio correctly we could have a winner.
  7. Three Little Pigs Ravioli – Completely noodleless, handmade bacon ravioli stuffed with 3 different styles of pork! 6 slices of handwoven bacon stuffed with homemade bourbon bacon jam, house smoked pulled pork shoulder, and pancetta. Complemented by cream cheese, Wisconsin smoked gouda, scallions, onion and brown sugar. Served with homemade cherry bourbon bacon BBQ jam. At Brew City.
    • “Completely noodleless…” That’s right, F!@# noodles, who needs them…not us! We have something called bacon here in the US of A. And this dish is an all-around stellar exhibition of the majestic hog’s versatility in meat offerings. I think this is going to be a good one.
  8. Wisconsin Cheese Curds & Brat Taco – Johnsonville brat deep-fried with Ellsworth white cheddar in a fried tortilla shell and topped with slaw and sriracha mayo. At Poncho Dog.
    • (Read slowly and softly): Taco, deep fried, brat, cheddar, deep fried…And it’s topped with slaw. I’m a big slaw guy. Especially when used as a topping.
  9. SPAM Fries – Spam fries take a traditional can of Spam to the next level. Deep-fried and served with a tasty dipping sauce. At SPAM.
    • Is there a level beyond “a traditional can of SPAM”? I mean isn’t Spam really already “next level?” It’s meat in a can. It’s revered in Hawaii. It rhymes with lots of words. I think it’s already there. But either way, I’m willing to try this and let you know where it lands.

The Worst

  1. Breakfast Dog – Crispy bacon-wrapped all beef hot dog topped with cheese, scrambled eggs, chives and drizzled with sriracha for that extra little kick. At Siggy’s Wild Dogs Saloon.
    • Hot dog for breakfast? Wrap a sausage link in bacon and maybe we’ll tango.
  2. Cinna Dog – Savory meets sweet in this corn dog rolled in cinnamon sugar. At 3B Corn Dogs
    • Hot dog for dessert? Try harder.
  3. Corn on the Beach – Roasted corn on the cob meets the island life in this corn on the cob topped with chili powder, melted butter, cotija cheese, fresh cilantro and lime. At Tropics at the Fair.
    • Nothing really wrong here, I just don’t like thinking about eating corn at or on the beach. I keep thinking about crunching down on little sand and I hate it.
  4. Goat Meat Wrap – A delicious, unique wrap that bursts with flavor! At Wisconsin Dairy Goat Products.
    • I don’t want my goat meat wrap bursting with anything. I don’t want it at all in fact. Sorry goats…or should I say you’re welcome.
  5. Deep-Fried Bacon-Wrapped Olives On-a-Stick – The ultimate State Fair experience!! Our award winning, green queen olives stuffed with cream cheese, individually wrapped with real bacon, dipped in a seasoned, crunchy batter and served with ranch for dipping and kick up the taste with sriracha! Green olives + cream cheese + bacon = cheesy, salty, crunchy “Baconlicious Awesome Olives!” At Fried Fruit & Fried Olives.
    • I’m sure I’ve said you can wrap anything in bacon and deep fry it and I’d eat it one or twenty times in the past. It’s just that I am not an olive guy. They taste like dirty salty socks. Hard pass.
  6. Cricket Nachos – Think eating bugs is gross? Think again! Insects are good for the environment and for you. Cricket nachos have all the flavor of regular nachos but are high in protein and gluten free! Crickets are a sustainable protein that require less water to grow, providing an eco-friendly way of eating. Be proud to say, “I Eat Bugs!” At All Things Jerky.
    • I thought again, and again, eating bugs is still gross. I mean don’t get me wrong, if we’re all eating cricket flour derived snacks some day because we live in a post-apocalyptic world where that’s all you can eat; well then I’ll personally write a thank you letter to “All Things Jerky.” I’ll commend them for being a pioneer in the bugs-as-food industry and for saving mankind. But until then, keep this away, far away, get it out of the fair. Remember what I said about sand in my mouth up above re: “Beach Corn”? Times infinity for this dish. Sick. Sorry Earth. Not yet. Not yet.

The Rest

  1. The Wild Dog – All beef hot dog topped with grilled onions, cheese and thousand island dressing. Siggy’s Wild Dogs Saloon
    • I wouldn’t say no.
  2. Apple Pie Nachos – Cinnamon and sugar nacho chips topped with apple pie filling, caramel, whipped cream and walnuts. At Jayme’s Chipstix.
    • I like nachos and I like pie.
  3. Bacon Ravioli – Handmade bacon ravioli filled with cheese. At Brew City.
    • Familiar formula that works; replace something with bacon; serve, eat repeat.
  4. Bacon-Wrapped Pork Shish-Kabob – Pork, wrapped in bacon and put on a stick. At George’s Fun Foods.
    • Don’t pork yourself!
  5. Ball Park Tots – Tailgate heaven meets on top of these tots with hot dogs and baked beans. At Knucklehead.
    • Always been a fan of beans and wieners.
  6. Banana Boat – Banana Boat will remind you of the days of being a kid sitting around a campfire and enjoying this banana stuffed with marshmallows and chocolate chips. At Knucklehead.
    • Something is off in that description – read it again. Like you were a kid traveling to a future to enjoy this banana thing and then coming back to the campfire so you could remember it someday for this sentence…Confused? Me too. But I’d eat it. 
  7. Beer-Battered Bacon-Wrapped Cheddar Sausage On-a-Stick At Apollo’s.
    • Of course.
  8. Bourbon Bacon Cheeseburger Sliders – Two beef burger slider patties, topped with cheddar cheese, bourbon-bacon sauce and coleslaw on a pretzel slider bun. At Budweiser Pavilion Grill.
    • I love sliders. And there’s that slaw again!
  9. Bowtie, Basil & Balls Walking Pasta – Three homemade cocktail meatballs simmered in our house tomato sauce. Finished with fresh basil and bowtie pasta, secured with a toothpick and served with garlic bread. At Pitch’s BBQ & Miss Katie’s Diner.
    • Haha, balls. Nice alliteration but I like my pasta sitting.
  10. Budweiser Pavilion Triple Threat – A tower of sliders represents three Wisconsin State Fair staples, each with a special flavor twist and served on-a-stick! The Budweiser Pavilion Triple Threat includes 3 savory sliders – one Smoked Jalapeno, Bacon and Cheddar Brat Slider, one Budweiser BBQ Pulled Pork Slider, and one Bourbon Bacon Cheeseburger Slider – stacked and skewered in the Wisconsin State Fair On-a-Stick tradition.
    • More sliders! Yippee! Skip the cheap stick trick though – no way it works on that pulled pork one.
  11. Buffalo Chicken Grilled Cheese Sandwich – This sandwich features grilled buffalo chicken topped with pepper jack cheese and blue cheese dressing. At Siggy’s Gourmet Grilled Cheese.
    • Maybe. Maybe not.
  12. Buffalo Chicken Nachos – Classic, crispy nachos topped off with buffalo chicken. At Slim’s PBR Park.
    • More buffalo chicken.
  13. Buffalo Mac & Cheese Quesadilla – A quesadilla grilled to golden brown and stuffed with shredded buffalo chicken, queso mac & cheese, bacon and crushed Doritos. Served with jalapenos and a side of blue cream cheese. At Mexican Grill.
    • Even more buffalo chicken. Awesome adders though – almost made the best list. I’ll probably eat this.
  14. Caramel Macchiato Gelato – Skip your morning cup of joe and get your frozen caffeine fix with a Caramel Macchiato Gelato. Our rich Caramel Macchiato Gelato, which is blended with a tantalizing caramel chocolate chips, perfectly paired with an extra rich and creamy caramel sauce, then lavished with our heavenly fresh whipped cream, is topped off with exquisite espresso beans and a homemade wafer to perfect this Italian wake up call. At La Coppa Artisan Gelato.
    • Too fancy for the fair?
  15. Carne Asada Fries – Fresh cut fries topped with carne asada, queso cheese, guacomole, pico, sour cream and jalapenos. At Mexican Grill.
    • This would work. I choose steak discerningly at the fair though.
  16. Cheddar Corn Dog – The cheese is built-in in this corn dog. At 3B Corn Dogs
    • Sounds good but doesn’t seem new.
  17. Chicken ChimiWrap – Two different chicken flavors of deep-fried bliss! Buffalo or Southwestern Chicken mixtures wrapped in a flour tortilla then deep fried. At PBR Park.
    • Gimme a chimi any day!
  18. Chicken Parmesan Sandwich – Inspired by the classic Italian dish of the same name, this sandwich makes all the flavors of Chicken Parmesan portable for you to enjoy the rest of the Fair. At Albanese’s Roadhouse.
    • Lacking in creativity.
  19. Chocomela Nachos – Hold the queso and bring on the sweetness with Chocomela Nachos, our scrumptious dessert nachos! Our homemade cinnamon sugar tortilla chips are made to delightfully dip in our salted caramel and milk chocolate gelato classics. Topped off with whipped cream sweet chocolate coating, and a salty peanut sauce with peanut pieces. At La Coppa Artisan Gelato.
    • Another dessert nachos. This one might be a nice change of pace to cool things off a bit. I think “salty peanut sauce with peanut pieces” might just be a fancy way of saying chunky peanut butter but I might try it to find out.
  20. Cinnamon Caramel Apple Mini Donuts – Our original mini donuts dusted with cinnamon sugar, topped with chopped cinnamon apples and Ghirardelli caramel, finished off with a generous crown of homemade vanilla bean whipped cream. At The Donut Family.
    • Nothing here NOT to like.
  21. Cricket Chips – Gluten free and high in protein, these chips feature one cricket per chip. At All Things Jerky.
    • Is one cricket per chip a good ratio? ‘Uhhh, Hi, excuse me, waiter? There’s a cricket on my chip. There’s one on every chip in fact…’ Barf.
  22. Deep-Fried Cherry Pie Wonton – Deep fried spring roll stuffed with cherry pie filling and topped with sprinkles of powdered sugar, drizzles of chocolate and a dollop of whipped cream! At Leadfoots Race Bar & Grill.
    • Did I mention I love pie – in any and all formats (as long as there aren’t crickets).
  23. Deep-Fried Nutella – Your favorite hazelnut cocoa spread is even more scrumptious in this deep-fried confection. At Granny’s Cheesecake & More.
    • Just throwing a dollop of Europe’s Peanut Butter in the deep fryer? Not sure how it works, but I’m likely going to find out for you.
  24. Donut Ice Cream Sandwich -Two of your favorite desserts collide to create this ultimate dessert.
    • Nice but they have these at Miller Park.
  25. Door County Popper On-a-Stick – This bell pepper is stuffed with a creamy coleslaw and served on a bed of shredded carrots and cheddar cheese with a side of shrimp cocktail sauce. At Door County Fish Boil.
    • Ehhh, mmm, uhhh. I don’t know. Maybe. It does have slaw.
  26. Drunk Tots – These dots are drunk on the flavors of beer cheese and bacon that top this snack. At Knucklehead.
    • Welcome to the club.
  27. Fat Elvis Shake Shake Shake – A milk shake fit for The King! Peanut butter cup and banana ice cream, along with fried bacon bits, blended into a milk shake then topped with whipped cream, bacon bits, chocolate sauce, and a deep-fried mini Elvis, served in a peanut butter and chopped peanut-rimmed cup. At Slim’s Lakefront Brew Pub & Eatery.
    • This sounds great and really filling. Wish there was a mini size.
  28. Fire Tots – Tossed with cumin and topped with curry ketchup, these tots will leave you begging for water. At Knucklehead.
    • Asking for trouble. Pass.
  29. Gator Breakfast Burrito – The Gator Breakfast Burrito is worth waking up for. A warm tortilla wrapped around a mix of scrambled eggs, tater tots, chunks of cajun spiced alligator sausage and shredded cheddar cheese. Topped with your choice of sour cream and salsa. But don’t worry — if you over slept, this Gator Burrito is great for lunch and dinner, too! At Exotic Meat Grill.
    • Rather not.
  30. Great Balls of Fire Sandwich – A sandwich that explodes with so many flavors of spicy Hungarian sausage, garlic sour cream sauce, stuffing balls, pulled pork and creamy coleslaw. At Rupena’s.
    • Stuffing balls and coleslaw. This almost made the best list – not sure I have the intestinal fortitude – at least not whilst walking around the fair with a gut full of everything else.
  31. Grilled Garlic Butter Shrimp On-a-Stick – Grilled, slathered with garlic butter, and served on a stick, this treat will make you feel like you are at a backyard cookout instead of the Fair.
    • Slathered…
  32. Island Torpedo Sandwich – A sandwich boasts a combination of ground beef and italian sausage topped with red sauce, queso blanco cheese and an island pepper mix. At Tropics at the Fair.
    • White cheese sounds better in Spanish.
  33. Mousse-Stuffed Gelato Cones – This chocolate confection is sure to conquer all your sugary cravings. At La Coppa Artisan Gelato.
    • Mousse – French for fluffy and slightly unfulfilling.
  34. New Zealand Green Shell Mussels – 4 large, steamed New Zealand Green Shell Mussels topped with fresh lemon and black pepper. At Joey’s Seafood & Grill.
    • Not a fair food in my mind. Maybe in a coastal state.
  35. BBQ Pastrami Brisket Biscuit Sandwich – Don’t miss our brisket, don’t even risk it, to make it even better, we serve it on a biscuit! At Usinger’s.
    • I like these things separately but not sure they belong together.
  36. PB&J Smoothee – A creamy blend of peanut butter, strawberries, bananas and non-fat milk. At Caribbean Smoothees.
    • Maybe we’ll make it at home.
  37. PBRs (Pastrami Beer-Brined Ribs) – PBR never sounded so good! PBR-brined ribs, rubbed in a homemade pastrami spice rub then smoked til tender, then slathered with Horsey BBQ sauce. At Slim’s PBR Park.
    • I’m sure PBR makes them tender. It makes me tender.
  38. Popcorn Shrimp – This full of flavor classic is sure to please Fairgoers of all ages. At Shrimp Shack.
    • These were new to me when I was 7 at the Chancery and thought I was getting real popcorn with my dinner.
  39. Pretzel-Wrapped Brat – A giant Johnsonville brat on-a-stick, wrapped in pretzel dough and deep-fried. Brushed with butter and lightly salted and served with your choice of hot cheddar cheese or dusseldorf mustard. At Gertrude’s Fresh Pretzels.
    • I choose hot cheddar cheese. And this. I’ll get this.
  40. Rancho Tots – Ranch, green onions and bacon are the stars of this tater tot dish. At Knucklehead.
    • I’m kind of over the endless combination of tots and toppings.
  41. Grilled Ribeye Steak & Rice – This steak is marinated, grilled and served with rice. At Chan’s Chicken On-a-Stick.
    • Not something I’d get at the fair. Or from a place called “Chicken On-a-Stick.”
  42. Root Beer Pops – It’s that old fashioned flavor of Sprecher Root Beer, but even more refreshing for those hot summer days. At Sprecher Root Beer Everything.
    • Ok, I suppose.
  43. Russian Imperial Stout Maple Bacon Cupcake – Cupcake infused with Sprecher’s Russian Imperial Stout, topped with maple frosting and bacon bits. At Sprecher Landing.
    • The rootbeer float cake won the Sporkie last year. This has potential.
  44. Sangria On-a-Stick – Frozen sangria pops. A refreshing, adult delight made with Copa Di Vino wine, club soda, fruit juices and fruit puree. Choice of red or white wine. At Leadfoots Race Bar & Grill.
    • I’m partial to the beer pops.
  45. Southwest Chicken Nachos – These nachos are given a kick with our delicious southwest seasoned chicken, which is sure to make your mouth water. At Slim’s PBR Park.
    • Not standing out.
  46. Steak Shish-Kabob – Tender and juicy cut of beef served in classic fair-style. At Butcher Boys and George’s Fun Foods.
    • What’s “classic fair-style”? 
  47. Strawberry Basil Wine Slushie – This is an adult summer refreshment in a glass! Copa di Vino white wine blended with shaved ice, frozen strawberries, fresh basil, and basil infused simple syrup. Just try and drink only one of these beauties…bet you can’t! At Slim McGinn’s Irish Pub.
    • Cost: 1 man-card. (I’d probably like it though.)
  48. Stuffed Bacon-Wrapped Jalapenos – Fresh jalapenos stuffed with Saz’s BBQ Pork and Wisconsin cheddar cheese, wrapped in bacon and deep-fried to perfection. Served with a side of Saz’s Spicy White BBQ Sauce. At Saz’s BBQ.
    • Sound good but too spicy for my blood.
  49. Swiss, Tomato & Spinach Grilled Cheese – Simple spin on a classic sandwich with delicious results! At Siggy’s Gourmet Grilled Cheese.
    • I’m sure it’s fine.
  50. Triple Cross Tots – These tots are topped with beer cheese, bbq and ranch for triple the flavor. At Knucklehead.
    • More tots…
  51. Unicorn Twinkie – Deep-fried twinkie with cotton candy filling topped with bright pink and blue icing with edible glitter sprinkles. At 3B Smores.
    • For the kids.
  52. Wild Boar BLT Sandwich On-a-Stick – We’ve taken an old time classic and made it State Fair worthy! Deep-fried wild boar bacon surrounded by crisp iceburg lettuce, sandwiched between slices of thin crunchy toast, topped with a grape tomato and served on a stick. Other sandwiches don’t stand a chance! At Exotic Meat Grill.
    • Curious on this one – “deep fried wild boar bacon”. 

My Evening Today

Background info: Stress level at “Code Orange” after a long week (and day) – a story for another day. Let’s fast forward to 5pm this afternoon and bullet point the rest of the day:

  • Play outside with family. Take silly string to the cornea. Twice. Worth it.
  • Tara gets ready to leave for evening. Mom Blog thing.
  • I take boys to get Beckett’s baseball uniform in lieu of cancelled practice. Say to the coach “yeah the weather sures not good as of late.” Wonder to myself why I would say it like that. Slowly back away and leave.
  • Take boys to Arby’s. Order the usual. Uh oh. Can’t get it. The junior roast beef no longer exists. Stunned silence at first then a panic order four sliders and a brisket sandwich instead. Told the drive thru lady we were devastated. Maybe a bit dramatic in retrospect.
  • Back home. Wave to Tara as she passes down street. Hold up Arby’s bag. Prove I will feed kids (probably).
  • I do. We eat the Arby’s.
  • Beckett wants to feed new Venus Fly Trap. I consider roast beef. Internet says no go. I go outside with ziploc bag over hand. Find monster mosquito. Grab it by tail. Try to feed it to fly trap without touching fly trap. Mosquito escapes. I smash it. Back outside. Find another mosquito. Kill it just a little bit (they won’t eat dead bugs says internet). Take fly trap outside. Feed it mosquito with plastic fork. Chomp. Success. Want to vomit.
  • Take boys in basement to play. Doorbell rings. (Never rings.) Door to door salesman. Tell him thanks but no thanks. Takes 5 minutes. Talk about grubs. He leaves.
  • Back downstairs. Hear a fire alarm chirp. 4th time in 3 days. Already changed the batteries in 2 of them this morning at 4am. (They coordinated their attack.)
  • Hear another chirp and voice saying “low battery.” Beckett hates it – thinks its a ghost. Work way from basement to 2nd story pausing for additional chirps along way. Finally find chirping alarm. Same one as 4am – already has new batteries. Change them again.
  • Back downstairs. Doorbell rings. (Reiterating here that it never rings.) Door to door salesman number two. Pest control. (Now realizing I should have said, “do you treat for door to door salesmen” – that would’ve been a real zinger. Always have been slow on the draw.) 10 minutes to get rid of him and somehow he’s stopping by again tomorrow – I think. I don’t know why. Smoke alarms were all alarming while he was squawking. The others know they’re missing one of the operatives from their terror cell – it’s in my hand and it’s not long for this world (the smoke alarm, not the salesman.)
  • Back downstairs
  • Looking at phone to troubleshoot smoke alarm. Flashing green either means it’s faulty or we’re all about to die of CO poisoning. Assume the former and hope one of the other 67 of them we had to install in the house will save us.
  • Continue looking at phone – not seeing anything; literally. My vision suddenly bright and swirly everywhere but the peripherals. Hold phone off to side while looking straight ahead. Not working. Tell Beckett to type in Kidde Interconnected Battery Backup Smoke Alarm. Does admirably well. Home Depot has one. Text Tara – tell her to get it on way home.
  • Vision in and out – mostly out. Boys want nighttime snacks. Back up stairs.
  • Back downstairs with snacks.
  • Bedtime. All the way upstairs. Vision remains marginal.
  • Beckett in bathroom – yells for me that he found a spider. Wonder to myself what sort of black magic the pest control salesman used to make a spider appear in upstairs bathroom (after telling me their treatments would kill spiders). Will ask tomorrow if I get the chance.
  • Vacuum large swaths of the upstairs due to new spider paranoia. Hope to to suck up any other accomplices. Boys run around screaming.
  • Boys to bed.
  • Put feet up. Vision returning – wonder how to get beer without getting up. Wish dog was trained for that. Or there was a robot.
  • Drift off thinking of robot dog that brings beers. Wonder what happened to Sony Aibo.
  • Vision comes back.
  • Write this.
  • Going to get a beer.

A little bit of McMuffin in my life…

Overheard the guy behind me at the drive thru order as follows, 

Could I get combo number 5?

 Now all I want for is that Lou Bega to be waiting at the 2nd window ready to say,

This is combo number 5.

And then everyone starts dancing. 

Complete domination

Despite the fact that I ate an entire sleeve of Thin Mints, just 15 minutes after they were dropped off at my desk, before 8:30 in the am, one after another, no speaking, minimal breathing and all alone; it wasn’t me doing the dominating – it was those cookies. They completely and utterly owned me – I wanted to have the serving size of 4 but before I knew what happened, they were gone. Devil cookies. 

But whatever. Any chance for a New Year’s diet and a modicum of weight loss was out the window by the time that groundhog saw his shadow. I’ll just keep my head up so I don’t see mine.